Making YOUR goals unique


Unique You, Unique Goals
Have you ever compared your goals to the goals of other people? Have you judged yours based on theirs? Well, don’t. Sure, use people’s goals to inspire you, but don’t compare your goals, or your results. Everyone has a unique path in life. Don’t beat yourself up if your goals aren’t as grand as your sister’s; or as cool as your brother’s. I know it might seem obvious to not compare yourself to others, but people often have a slightly over-developed competitive streak that comes from their own insecurity, so they have to prove themselves against others. If their best friend achieves X, they have to achieve Y – or be resentful forever if they can’t. Even a more subtle variant of this kind of competition – comparing yourself to others – can be detrimental to your goals.

First, you are not them. They are not you. Focus on your goals and don’t worry about theirs. You have talents and abilities that your friends and family, your colleagues and heroes, do not have. If you take two people and they are going for the exact same goal, even if they reach the same result, their stamp on it will be different. The end result is the icing on the cake. The real magic happens along the way, when you make your goals YOURS. You give your efforts a certain “you-ness” that no one else possesses.

Second, maybe your ultimate benefits will be far higher than theirs, even if their result is “better.” You could be going for the same goal as someone more “able” than you – but says who? Maybe you are more determined. Maybe you are more creative. Maybe you will find a better solution… maybe this goal will stretch you much further than it stretches the other person, and as a result, you get more personal satisfaction and growth out of it. Goals are there to get you to grow and to satisfy some inner need. Don’t base your goal on being better than someone else – because there will always be someone who is better than YOU. Maybe not today, maybe not for years – but ultimately, someone will best your achievements, and you will be crushed.

Two people with the same goal will end up with different ripple effects. Maybe you both have the same goal, but its achievement will impact a different group of people – which is great! Always remember, for every talent, there is an audience. So be brave. Forge your own way. Get to your goal the best way you can – not by following in someone’s footsteps, but by taking inspiration from others’ achievements and making your own path. You may improve on what they’ve done, and set the stage for even greater accomplishments for people who follow YOU.

If you compare yourself against other people’s achievements, you’re bound to get discouraged. So use their accomplishments to fuel your fire. Don’t compete against others (the great skier Hermann Maier admitted that his biggest mistake whenever he skied badly was that he was trying to win against his competitors instead trying to achieve a personal best). So don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. They may be having a “Superman” kind of day, and you may be dragging… Compete against yourself, using others’ accomplishments as “carrots.” This kind of competition is healthy. The kind where “you must lose so that I can win” is unhealthy.

Always push yourself, against yourself. Compete against the part of you that wants to quit; that wants to settle for the easy way; against the part of you that is afraid and lacks confidence. You already have the tools within you to make it happen – you just have to have the confidence to take those tools out of the toolbox and use them.

Inspired by Anilia’s blogs on


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